have you ever?

Hey guys...

Have u eer been in a situation where u feel that somebody is tryin to sabotage u..in some way? Thats how i feel right now. Call me paranoid...but a woman's instinct is always 60% right... Awu, banar...

But yeah, i have 40% of being wrong pulang jua...emmh!! Ntah ah, I hate negative thinkin..but im doing it right now. It bothers me so much that it made me think of anythin i do or say in the past which may had trigger some sensitive,revengeful, backstabber to do his/her stabbing... I know Im not the kind that can keep my mouth shut, simply because I love talking...and..well..i do make fun of ppl and myself...

So to you, revengeful backstabber, please do know that I have no intention to offend you...for i am the ignorant type when it comes to talking (and more).

And just in case that its not the revengeful but the plain curse-mouthed backstabber doing this (reminder - Im being paranoid), I know Im not perfect, so are you.. so,I dont mind if you wanna talk craps about me, just..u know...please..please...dont make it a tool to take away my precious gems...

And to my precious gems...stay here with me, like you always have whenever I feel down, happy, sad, disappointed..and alone... for i will never dessert u...ever...

~life is about loving..hate is about dying~

you are all i need..my love...

..my valentine...

its saturday nite,here i am...my new life...at a studio somewhere here... nooo..im not singin, im watchin them practisin for an upcomin weddin function. A band..

The songs are all good...some are very very rare to hear nowadays, that song from the late 80s i think..gurl,u kno its true--oo--oo--oo...i love you..!!milli vanilli...remember?gosh..i was a baby still!!i remember my brother brought the mtv video tape that he recorded while studyin in Ireland...There were no astro, no decorder..so we only watched MTV or Top of the Pop when he came back for holidays... and we didnt even know that he was lipsyncin!!who wudve!!

Anyway, other than that classi song, they are playin some very romantic songs, like the one i typed earlier.. The bride was here a while ago, practisin the song she'l sing for her weddin..lawa..aku makin cinta, and old song, but very deep...

ohhh!!they're playin lucky now!!lucky im inlove with my bestfriend....i love this song!!il wait for you i promise you...i wiiiillll....ohhh...lucky im inlove with my bestfriend..lucky to have been where i have been...lcuky to be comin home againnnn!!

And...look at that...somebody's playin the guitar so good!! hmmm... I could stay in this moment forever...just relaxin...with great, live, music!!!

I am lazy

yes, i am.

I know there are plenty of things I should do...like...clean my room, wash my car (inside-out!), clearing my desk, get my facial done, AND massage,too, unpack that bag (after my trip to miri last week), go to the gym, and many..many..MANY more!! but, the fact is, I am..LaZehEy!!

In the office, well, I tried my best to get things done...argue..joke..oh,and of course my real task..annoy..but,somehow, most of the time I just sit there...stare at the computer, type some words, mail some mails, read the bulletin...just there in my seat.. My eyes are always sleepy (and panda-ey), feel as if my head becomes magnetic and my desk becomes a force of attraction!! Im lazy!!

I know something has been bothering me in my head..oh,wait!!I tink..YES!!iv figured it out!!I am lazy because my innerself is having arguments!!Im arguing with myself, Im annoying myself, Im doing jokes to myself!! About what?haha..this only I know... So, now...cara-cara mengatasinya?meditation... Im gonna do it now...

Ignore me.

I want that...

Yesterday, my fren n i went to the airport to send off our fren (who is our bestfren's hubby) off to UK.

Pei n Wadi have been married for 5 years now..they started off as frens since college and sumtin sparked off between them that made them fall unimaginably deep for each other. I was there when it sparked..so funny when everyone in the circle felt awkward when they know about them!!I mean, come on, c piah kali ah....and c wadi kali ahhhh!!love does struck in an unexpected way...between unexpected ppl... I was one of the first to know about it..eh,wait, I WAS the first!!hahahahah!!still remember when pei curled up from the end of the bed telling me abt it..ahahahahah!!but,yeah,i was and still am happy for them!!c wadi kali ah...number 1 bah tu...c piah..ms.loud!!

So anyway, yesterday..iv never seen pei cried like that..(with a video cam in her hands!ofkos, bila jua ia ani nda weird!). Eventho wadi is already boarding inside the plane, she just stayed there, up at the waving area..waiting...n waiting..we talked to wadi n promised to look after her while he's away,which we definitely would!!

However, the moment that really really touched me so brabisly was when wadi's plane took off. Pei took a video..and at the same time..she cried...she cried so hard... I can feel the weight in my heart, i can somehow feel how she felt.. seeing her like that..urghh..dalam bnr rasanya..

And it made me realise...would i ever feel that strongly about somebody?would i have somebody cried so hard for me if i have to leave like that?would i feel that weight in my heart for somebody when he leaves me? I dont know.. I cant tink of anyone..

I want that...I want a love like that...

again..im sorry..

Yes, im sorry..i havent been updating this site..

I been pretty..well, very busy lately, with works and stuffs! so, i will update u as soon as i have d time...

I would have to say, some important points of my life appeared.